whatsacanada: MY ALGEBRA TEACHER DRESSED AS A CHEERLEADER TODAY HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY
harlequinjade: I thought a truck was about to crash into us and I instinctively said “wHOA THERE BUCKAROO” I could have died and those would have been my last words
boygrimlark: scout-ebubbles: docot: freddybenson: leovaldezstyle: freddybenson: A B C the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours D E
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
morrissarty: cheeky-jackharries: avatar-rokuu: veryscarytwist: how am i supposed to concentrate in science when whENEVER I LOOK TO THE LEFT I SEE THIS AT LEAST YOU DON”T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS AT LEAST YOU DONT HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO THIS what
iamtonysexual: jonandtheon: jonandtheon: jonandtheon: MY BOOK IS LOCKED IN A CLASSROOMN RED ASLERT I TOLD THIS REALLY NICE KID WHO NEVER CAUSES TROUBLE AND HEREACHED INTO HIS BACKPACK AND PULLED OUT A KEYCHAIN WITH KEYS TO THE CLASSROOM AND UNLOCKED IT FOR ME?? update i asked him why he had those keys and he said “its not important” im so lost He’ll be vital to your quest later,...
It’s kind of ridiculous that you’re expected to get out of bed EVERY day
niallhortonhearsawho: a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
bombliate: official-honeybooboo: bombliate: dave-vriska: bombliate: [JUDGE VOICE] did u do the thing [DEFENDANT VOICE] no [JUDGE VOICE] i don’t believe u [WITNESS VOICE] he did the thing [JUDGE VOICE] ooooooh i knew it
writingrants: That moment of realization when your parents/friends/teacher ask you what your novel is about and every aspect of the story suddenly seems too idiotic and cliche to say out loud.
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: glue a tiny mirror over your drivers license photo so when you hand it to the police they will get confused and arrest themselves instead
nannajane: in 7 years its going to be the 20s again so we can bring back swing music and the aesthetics of that era but keep modern values who’s with me
caraknightley: colorfulrussianfireworks: iVE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR THIS FUCKING VIDEO AND I FINALLY FOUND IT AND ITS CAUSING ME CHEST PAINS I FORGOT ABOUT THIS VIDEO UNTIL APPROXXIMATELY 3 MINUTES AGO AND IM LAUGHING OS HARD
mandatoryupgrades: Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written: I want that to be the final line of my biography.
less-than-one: Yes hello I am here for Gatsby’s party
leskerwhite: Barry you’re a genius.
me playing any new game: i don't need your shitty tutorials
me five seconds later: what the fuck am i doing
thernardier: “you wanna see my breasts” i say seductively to my boyfriend. i unbutton my shirt to reveal two large, succulent cuts of meat. i am a chicken. why do i have a boyfriend. why am i wearing clothes